QOTW QOTW #7 with BolderK9 (2/2)

For this week’s Question of the Week, we’re keeping things light, fun, and very relatable.

​

About the Sponsor​

BolderK9 is a dog gear brand that genuinely gives back. They donate 5% of profits to rescue organizations, have spent hundreds of hours volunteering with shelters, and regularly donate products to support their work.

They specialize in durable BioThane leashes, collars, toys, and everyday working-dog gear built for real use.

If you’d like to check out their gear, you can use code GSDHQ for 15% off on their website through the end of January. Every purchase also helps support the rescue organizations they give back to.

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This Week’s Question:​

“If your dog could write a complaint letter to you, what would be their biggest grievance?”

Whether it’s:

• Not enough walks
• Too many rules
• Late meals
• Leaving the house without them
• Or “why do we stop playing tug so soon?”

We want to hear it.

No dog right now?
You can still join in:

• Answer from a past dog
• Or imagine what a future dog would complain about
• Creativity absolutely counts

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This Week’s Prize​

Thanks to our sponsor BolderK9, the winner will receive:

• $50 BolderK9 Gift Card
• PLUS: 3x Trophy QOTW Points and Trophy Badge

This way, you can make it up to your dog with some new fun toys.

---

How It Works​

• Staff will choose a winner on Friday, January 23rd
• Likes help, but aren’t the main deciding factor
• Fun, creativity, and effort matter most

Looking forward to reading your responses!

Omg I love this one…

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Dear Human,

I hope this letter finds you well, because I have not been well since you left the house without me for reasons that remain unjustified and frankly suspicious.

First, I would like to address the issue of time. You claim I was fed “earlier.” This is false. That occurred in a previous era. My bowl is empty now, which is the only time that matters. Please correct this oversight immediately.

Second, while I appreciate the concept of “walks,” I find your execution lacking. We do not stop long enough to investigate smells that are clearly very important. Additionally, the leash implies a lack of trust that I find hurtful, especially given my flawless judgment regarding squirrels.

Other concerns include:

• You closing the bathroom door despite my role as your emotional support supervisor
• You sitting in my designated couch location
• The vacuum cleaner, which I believe is possessed
• Asking “Who’s a good dog?” and then not acting on the answer

In closing, I request:

1. Snacks (ongoing)
2. Walks (longer, immediately)
3. Apologies (verbal, with cheese)

Failure to comply may result in dramatic sighing, staring at nothing, or spontaneous zoomies at inconvenient hours.

Warm regards,
Your Dog, Pj
Head of Household,
Victim of Mild Neglect

From: Maliketh (Head of Security & Operations)

To: The Management (The Biped with the Thumbs)

Date: January 16, 2026

Subject: URGENT: Workplace Hostility & Critical Staffing Failures

------------------------------------------

Dear Management,

I am writing this formal grievance to protest the current working conditions and staffing roster within this facility.

After conducting a visual audit in the mirror this morning, I was forced to confront a terrifying truth: I am the only professional here.

I looked at my reflection, large size, pointy ears, alert gaze, sturdy coarse fur, serious demeanor. Then I turned around and looked at the rest of the "team" you have assembled. It is a disaster. I am suffering from a severe identity crisis because I am apparently the only normal creature in this house.

Example A: The Noodle (Borzoi)

He is 90% nose and elbows. He is aesthetically confusing. He does not understand personal space. He exists only to poke me with his long snout and annoy me while I am trying to conduct serious surveillance operations. He is not a colleague; he is a safety hazard.

Exhibit B: The Grump (Catahoula)

I attempted to submit a request for playtime with the senior staff member, and she barked me away! She is retired, bitter, and refuses to participate in any fun. She is essentially the Fun Police, and she files noise complaints against me daily.

Exhibit C: You

I love you, but let’s be honest. You have no tail, you have flat ears, you walk on two legs, and don't have sharp teeth. You are useful for opening doors and driving the transport vehicle, but you do not understand the mission.

The Solution:

I am surrounded by a alien, retiree, and a noodle. I formally request the immediate hiring of another German Shepherd. I need a brother who looks like me, acts like me, and understands the mission.

Please rectify this staffing error ASAP

Sincerely,

Maliketh
Head of Security
(The Only Normal One in This House)

administrator said:

For this week’s Question of the Week, we’re keeping things light, fun, and very relatable.

​

About the Sponsor​

BolderK9 is a dog gear brand that genuinely gives back. They donate 5% of profits to rescue organizations, have spent hundreds of hours volunteering with shelters, and regularly donate products to support their work.

They specialize in durable BioThane leashes, collars, toys, and everyday working-dog gear built for real use.

If you’d like to check out their gear, you can use code GSDHQ for 15% off on their website through the end of January. Every purchase also helps support the rescue organizations they give back to.

---

This Week’s Question:​

“If your dog could write a complaint letter to you, what would be their biggest grievance?”

Whether it’s:

• Not enough walks
• Too many rules
• Late meals
• Leaving the house without them
• Or “why do we stop playing tug so soon?”

We want to hear it.

No dog right now?
You can still join in:

• Answer from a past dog
• Or imagine what a future dog would complain about
• Creativity absolutely counts

---

This Week’s Prize​

Thanks to our sponsor BolderK9, the winner will receive:

• $50 BolderK9 Gift Card
• PLUS: 3x Trophy QOTW Points and Trophy Badge

This way, you can make it up to your dog with some new fun toys.

---

How It Works​

• Staff will choose a winner on Friday, January 23rd
• Likes help, but aren’t the main deciding factor
• Fun, creativity, and effort matter most

Looking forward to reading your responses!

Click to expand...

From my selectively incontinent and SPOILED female:

My dearest Piss Wench,

Today, when I looked directly in your eyes as I peed on the floor, despite the fact that we were 3 seconds away from going outside, you broke said eye contact to get a towel. Your attitude after this unfortunate incident was churlish and sour. Upon getting back inside, you neglected to immediately deliver to me my morning ice cube and instead gave attention and affection to that mongrel you call your baby and force me to call brother.

You did eventually provide me my required water cookie but you did make me sit for it and I found that to be a bit pedantic. As the morning progressed, I couldn’t help but notice that you sat on my sofa to drink your morning coffee and this disrupted the back cushions that I had just gotten to contour my body frame to my exact specifications the night before. I will now need to reset these cushions and am displeased at the lack of respect for my living space.

Later today, you made the feckless decision to “run errands”, determined me to be untrustworthy and locked me away in my kennel. Your feeble attempts to create comfort in a cage were noted but also fell short. I simply cannot comfortably relax in my kennel with just one comforter, one blanket and 2 toys unless I am laying in there of my own free will, which we know was not the case in this instance. Do not confuse my willingness to hang out in my kennel when you are home and I am bored with you as an acceptance of this confinement.

You weren’t gone long and the groceries you brought home will no doubt be shared with me but you did delay in releasing me from my confines and didnt immediately determine my need to go outside. I had to spin around a few times and get your attention. This lack of awareness is an opportunity for you to be better.

Overall, you were mildly satisfactory today. Dinner was served in a timely manner and I enjoyed the 2 naps I was able to take while curled around your shoulders like a shawl. I do ask that you take my feedback into consideration as I frankly deserve more. At this point, actions speak louder than words and I will be monitoring your behavior in the coming days. I suggest you think long and hard about decisions such as extra feedings, ample usage and space on the bed, new toys and less time spent paying attention to that other dog that was here first.

I’m watching you and always judging.

With Conditional Love and very little respect,
Ludo

***I kid, I kid. She’s very sweet but it does feel like this sometimes.***

From my anxious and ball obsessed male:

Mom,

Stop going outside and leaving me to worry. Green ball. I cannot function (ball) away from your side. I would prefer to have eyes on you at (b)all times and I don’t understand why you sometimes-green ball-make it so that my eyes cannot see you. Ball.

Outside is a hellscape. Ball. The other dogs in this neighborhood are untrustworthy and scare me. Green ball. You can’t go out there. You could die. Ball. Ball. Let’s just stay inside where it’s safe and we are together and there are green balls. Never leave me. Green ball.

As long as you are by my side and I have my green ball, my life is complete. Green ball, mommy, never leave me. Green ball.

Sincerely,
Crosby

administrator said:

For this week’s Question of the Week, we’re keeping things light, fun, and very relatable.

​

About the Sponsor​

BolderK9 is a dog gear brand that genuinely gives back. They donate 5% of profits to rescue organizations, have spent hundreds of hours volunteering with shelters, and regularly donate products to support their work.

They specialize in durable BioThane leashes, collars, toys, and everyday working-dog gear built for real use.

If you’d like to check out their gear, you can use code GSDHQ for 15% off on their website through the end of January. Every purchase also helps support the rescue organizations they give back to.

---

This Week’s Question:​

“If your dog could write a complaint letter to you, what would be their biggest grievance?”

Whether it’s:

• Not enough walks
• Too many rules
• Late meals
• Leaving the house without them
• Or “why do we stop playing tug so soon?”

We want to hear it.

No dog right now?
You can still join in:

• Answer from a past dog
• Or imagine what a future dog would complain about
• Creativity absolutely counts

---

This Week’s Prize​

Thanks to our sponsor BolderK9, the winner will receive:

• $50 BolderK9 Gift Card
• PLUS: 3x Trophy QOTW Points and Trophy Badge

This way, you can make it up to your dog with some new fun toys.

---

How It Works​

• Staff will choose a winner on Friday, January 23rd
• Likes help, but aren’t the main deciding factor
• Fun, creativity, and effort matter most

Looking forward to reading your responses!

Click to expand...

My girls response:
Hello, peasant. It has come to my attention that I am to raise a few complaints. I will try to keep this short, as your Queen, I know you have things to attend to (ie: me)
First and foremost I have time to write this. Why do I have time to write this? There are currently balls at my feet...and yours! Get throwing!
Secondly, when there is an intruder in our yard it is my right, no, my DUTY as Queen Protector, to attempt to lunge myself out the picture window, so they know I know business.
Thirdly (and most importantly) if I do not check behind the shower curtain, and the toilet before you *ahem* do your ...business... You will die! Stop sneaking off alone! My eating the bathroom door is not my fault, I'm just trying to protect you! This also goes when you leave the house. How am I supposed to protect you if I'm not by your side ALL of the time? ...unless.... ... You're not...are you? You wouldn't dare!...you...you're not seeing that incredibly gorgeous definitely not too old for me handsomest ...err....*cough* that German shepherd down the street...are you? You wouldn't....right? I promise, he's not too old for me, he just GETS me!
I suppose those are my main concerns but I'm sure I'd have a longer list but it's been 3 minutes and 23 seconds since our last game of ball. Get to it!
Sincerely, Her Highness, Queen Hera, the Sassy Asshole

AmberLovesHerDogs said:

From my anxious and ball obsessed male:

Mom,

Stop going outside and leaving me to worry. Green ball. I cannot function (ball) away from your side. I would prefer to have eyes on you at (b)all times and I don’t understand why you sometimes-green ball-make it so that my eyes cannot see you. Ball.

Outside is a hellscape. Ball. The other dogs in this neighborhood are untrustworthy and scare me. Green ball. You can’t go out there. You could die. Ball. Ball. Let’s just stay inside where it’s safe and we are together and there are green balls. Never leave me. Green ball.

As long as you are by my side and I have my green ball, my life is complete. Green ball, mommy, never leave me. Green ball.

Sincerely,
Crosby

Click to expand...

I read this in the voice I use for my girl. I usually do this when referencing her to me, as she has one braincell and it's a tennis ball so relatable this time though she went through royalty route, though ball was her first concern

Well My one dog Zac would probably complain about me leaving the house without taking him with me, because he very much dislikes when he don't know where I'm at. It legit makes him extra clingly when I come back.

Nuka would probably complain that I have too many rules on jumping because he always wants to jump up and give hugs. He gives me these looks like he's mad I made these crazy rules he doesn't want to follow.

The other dogs would just probably complain about silly things of not getting treats whenever they want, or not being allowed to bark at nothing. Guess mine would have some complaints but at the same time they wouldn't choose anyone else to live with.

TO: The Management (Mom & Dad)
FROM: K-9 Unit "Thunder Dragon" (Acting Chief of Domestic Security)
SUBJECT: FORMAL GRIEVANCE REGARDING OPERATIONAL DOWNGRADE

Dear Management,

I am writing to formally protest my current assignment. As you are aware, my pedigree is West German Working Line. My ancestors secured borders; I was trained to neutralize threats and detect high-grade explosives. My drive is legendary. My focus is steel.
However, since being deployed to the "Suburban Living Room" sector, the following breaches of protocol have occurred:

1. Improper Search & Seizure Mandates
Yesterday, I alerted on a suspicious scent near the blue eyed boys backpack. Upon further investigation, it was not TNT. It was snacks he tried to sneak into his school. I expect a hazard pay increase in the form of freeze-dried liver for being forced to snitch on my favorite human.

2. Unauthorized Equipment Modifications
Per my patrol training, I am a high-speed, low-drag tactical asset. Why, then, was I forced to wear a pink tutu and a plastic tiara for three hours during the "Princess Tea Party" mission? This significantly hampers my ability to execute a tactical takedown of the Amazon Infiltrator.

3. Degrading Interrogation Techniques
The Small Human (Age 7) keeps asking "Who’s a good boy?" This is a redundant question. I am a highly trained professional. Furthermore, the "Boop on the Snoot" is a direct violation of my personal space and makes it very difficult to maintain a menacing perimeter stare, critical to keep smol humans safe.

4. Mismanagement of High-Value Assets
I am currently tracking a high-priority target (the sandhill cranes). Instead of being released for pursuit, I was recalled to "snuggle" on the rug. Snuggling is not in the SOP (Standard Operating Procedures) for a patrol dog. It is, however, surprisingly soft. I will allow it for now, but under protest.

5. Supply Chain Failures
My caloric intake should be optimized for a high-intensity workload. Instead, I am being offered "noodle drops" from the young girls bowl. While the flavor profile is acceptable, the lack of professional presentation is insulting.

Proposed Resolution:
I demand a return to active duty, or at the very least, that the Small Humans stop trying to use my tail as a gear-shifter. If my demands are not met, I will be forced to initiate "Operation: Midnight Zoomies" through the master bedroom.

Respectfully,

Officer Thunder Dragon
(Currently waiting for my emotional support maltese to go into the dark yard with me for nighttime bathroom usage)

That last bit my girl is the only dog in the house but she has an (actually 2) emotional support stuffie for midnight (or windy, rainy, sunny, or snowy conditions )

fyrione said:

That last bit my girl is the only dog in the house but she has an (actually 2) emotional support stuffie for midnight (or windy, rainy, sunny, or snowy conditions )View attachment 773

Click to expand...

That is adorable!

I find it endlessly funny that we brought home a badass working K9 that needs a 7lbs fluffy white dog to escort him outside in the darkness.

German Shepherds can be the toughest dogs on the planet, but still have the softest hearts.

Thanks, everyone for participating in QOTW #7. Huge thank you to @bolderk9 for sponsoring the event and giving the winner a $50 online store gift card. Interested in checking out their gear? Click here (use code "GSDHQ" for 15% off)

This week’s winner is…
@MalikethGSD

MalikethGSD said:

From: Maliketh (Head of Security & Operations)

To: The Management (The Biped with the Thumbs)

Date: January 16, 2026

Subject: URGENT: Workplace Hostility & Critical Staffing Failures

------------------------------------------

Dear Management,

I am writing this formal grievance to protest the current working conditions and staffing roster within this facility.

After conducting a visual audit in the mirror this morning, I was forced to confront a terrifying truth: I am the only professional here.

I looked at my reflection, large size, pointy ears, alert gaze, sturdy coarse fur, serious demeanor. Then I turned around and looked at the rest of the "team" you have assembled. It is a disaster. I am suffering from a severe identity crisis because I am apparently the only normal creature in this house.

Example A: The Noodle (Borzoi)

He is 90% nose and elbows. He is aesthetically confusing. He does not understand personal space. He exists only to poke me with his long snout and annoy me while I am trying to conduct serious surveillance operations. He is not a colleague; he is a safety hazard.

Exhibit B: The Grump (Catahoula)

I attempted to submit a request for playtime with the senior staff member, and she barked me away! She is retired, bitter, and refuses to participate in any fun. She is essentially the Fun Police, and she files noise complaints against me daily.

Exhibit C: You

I love you, but let’s be honest. You have no tail, you have flat ears, you walk on two legs, and don't have sharp teeth. You are useful for opening doors and driving the transport vehicle, but you do not understand the mission.

The Solution:

I am surrounded by a alien, retiree, and a noodle. I formally request the immediate hiring of another German Shepherd. I need a brother who looks like me, acts like me, and understands the mission.

Please rectify this staffing error ASAP

Sincerely,

Maliketh
Head of Security
(The Only Normal One in This House)

Click to expand...

Congratulations @MalikethGSD! I absolutely loved this one! I will contact you for more info on how to redeem. You will also hold the QOTW badge until the next winner is announced.

Please check your DM's for more info.