Need Some Reassurance and Advice

[e.xochipa]

Hello,

It’s been a while since I posted but here I am. I have been going through a bit of a rough patch with my 9 month old German shepherd mix. I’m not sure what it is but I’ve been feeling very low. I don’t think it’s puppy blues but rather burn out. Sometimes I just find myself getting annoyed a lot more easily with the barking or jumping on people.

It also doesn’t help that her prey drive has seemingly kicked in. Before she would be able to watch the cats walk past the door without issue but then one day she randomly went crazy at the first sight of a cat. She had such a deep bark too. She still has her baby bark but whenever she lays eyes on a cat her bark just changes and she’s dead set on going after it. She even started growling and barking at the sound of our neighbors. At least that’s what my mom said. She pulls really hard to the point where she can literally drag my mom and sister (they are pretty small). This is new. Before I can take her to the backyard to do her business or play without issue if a neighbor was talking or coming out their apartment. She even started doing this to the neighbors dogs at times.

These occurrences are rare but when they happened they can potentially harm someone. Normally I would be the one taking her but because of my leg injury if she spots something before I do and charges I will be completely dragged and could harm myself. That’s why I normally ask my dad but I can’t always rely on him (which brings me to my next issue).

A bit of background: the only reason we got a dog was because my dad cheated on my mom so he thought yay would be the perfect way to make up for it. Otherwise he would have never agreed to having a dog. He moved out a few months after getting the dog because he cheated again but then he moved back in to help after my injury. But now that I’m slowly being able to walk properly it seems he may be getting ready to move out again. My mom says he always makes this certain face when I try to walk without my crutches which to her means that I’m slowly gaining my independence again. On top of that he has apparently been making comments to her about bringing his credit score back up (he messed it up by missing car payments) and she even caught him looking up the value of the house. Not sure if this important too but some how his phone is connected to hers in that she can get certain notifications from his and found out he got a huge bonus yesterday which he hasn’t even brought up to us.

This has led my mom to think that he is getting ready to move out again. This on its own isn’t bad but what makes it worrying for my mom is that she believes he is getting ready to just cut us off socially and financially. This would mean we will likely loose the house as my mom can’t afford it on her own. This means we will have to move into an apartment and also likely have to give up the dog because a lot don’t allow dogs and those that do have very strict rule regarding noise complaints from pets(at least the ones we are interested in because of proximity to work and campus).

This is obviously cornering to me because as much as I’m feeling burnt out and exhausted I don’t want to have to be put into a position where I have to give her up. I can’t ask family because most don’t like big dogs and the ones who do already have enough.

Obviously nothing is set in stone and we don’t truly know what my dad’s intentions are. But if I’m being honest I have always thought him cutting us off was always inevitable. I mean would you keep supporting your previously family if they refused to speak with you for picking your mistress? Answer would probably be NO.

So yeah that’s my situation right now. Feeling some intense burn out and also pondering the possibility of having my whole life changed which includes potentially giving up the dog.

Any advice or some slight encouragement will be deeply appreciated.

 

[AmberLovesHerDogs]

Hi friend, first of all take a deep breath. Sounds like you have had a lot going on. I’m not sure how much research you may have done prior to getting a GSD but they are not “easy” dogs but they are amazing if you can put in the time. It’s common for GSD to go through what is referred to as a Fear Period at around the 8-10 month mark. This is a formative time where they are suddenly more aware of their surroundings and determining whether something is a threat. Socialization, desensitizing and providing a calm environment are critical during this stage. Don’t yell at her for barking or growling but redirect and try to understand the trigger. Next time, Correct her with a firm ah-ah or no BEFORE she reacts and then give her big treats and praise when she successfully redirects and doesn’t react. This takes consistency and work and is most effective when all members of the household are on board. I understand that your situation may not make this easy but these dogs are worth it. Find a quality trainer in your area and start working with them on basic commands, obedience and if possible leash and door reactivity.

 

[e.xochipa]

Hi friend, first of all take a deep breath. Sounds like you have had a lot going on. I’m not sure how much research you may have done prior to getting a GSD but they are not “easy” dogs but they are amazing if you can put in the time. It’s common for GSD to go through what is referred to as a Fear Period at around the 8-10 month mark. This is a formative time where they are suddenly more aware of their surroundings and determining whether something is a threat. Socialization, desensitizing and providing a calm environment are critical during this stage. Don’t yell at her for barking or growling but redirect and try to understand the trigger. Next time, Correct her with a firm ah-ah or no BEFORE she reacts and then give her big treats and praise when she successfully redirects and doesn’t react. This takes consistency and work and is most effective when all members of the household are on board. I understand that your situation may not make this easy but these dogs are worth it. Find a quality trainer in your area and start working with them on basic commands, obedience and if possible leash and door reactivity.

Thanks. I think a lot of it comes from the feelings of being useless. My mom is helping with the dog but she doesn’t really like her and is afraid just because of breed alone. My sister likes her but in small doses. She will watch her if it’s only her but the moment I’m home she pretty much wants no responsibility (which makes sense because she is mine). As for the trainers a lot of them just recommend boarding and I can’t afford that. There are some who seem like they won’t recommend that but they aren’t in my vicinity. Everyone always says that the household has to be on board but it’s hard for me since everyone just stays in their rooms now because the dog spend her time in the living room.

 

[Malakai The Great]

Hello,

It’s been a while since I posted but here I am. I have been going through a bit of a rough patch with my 9 month old German shepherd mix. I’m not sure what it is but I’ve been feeling very low. I don’t think it’s puppy blues but rather burn out. Sometimes I just find myself getting annoyed a lot more easily with the barking or jumping on people.

It also doesn’t help that her prey drive has seemingly kicked in. Before she would be able to watch the cats walk past the door without issue but then one day she randomly went crazy at the first sight of a cat. She had such a deep bark too. She still has her baby bark but whenever she lays eyes on a cat her bark just changes and she’s dead set on going after it. She even started growling and barking at the sound of our neighbors. At least that’s what my mom said. She pulls really hard to the point where she can literally drag my mom and sister (they are pretty small). This is new. Before I can take her to the backyard to do her business or play without issue if a neighbor was talking or coming out their apartment. She even started doing this to the neighbors dogs at times.

These occurrences are rare but when they happened they can potentially harm someone. Normally I would be the one taking her but because of my leg injury if she spots something before I do and charges I will be completely dragged and could harm myself. That’s why I normally ask my dad but I can’t always rely on him (which brings me to my next issue).

A bit of background: the only reason we got a dog was because my dad cheated on my mom so he thought yay would be the perfect way to make up for it. Otherwise he would have never agreed to having a dog. He moved out a few months after getting the dog because he cheated again but then he moved back in to help after my injury. But now that I’m slowly being able to walk properly it seems he may be getting ready to move out again. My mom says he always makes this certain face when I try to walk without my crutches which to her means that I’m slowly gaining my independence again. On top of that he has apparently been making comments to her about bringing his credit score back up (he messed it up by missing car payments) and she even caught him looking up the value of the house. Not sure if this important too but some how his phone is connected to hers in that she can get certain notifications from his and found out he got a huge bonus yesterday which he hasn’t even brought up to us.

This has led my mom to think that he is getting ready to move out again. This on its own isn’t bad but what makes it worrying for my mom is that she believes he is getting ready to just cut us off socially and financially. This would mean we will likely loose the house as my mom can’t afford it on her own. This means we will have to move into an apartment and also likely have to give up the dog because a lot don’t allow dogs and those that do have very strict rule regarding noise complaints from pets(at least the ones we are interested in because of proximity to work and campus).

This is obviously cornering to me because as much as I’m feeling burnt out and exhausted I don’t want to have to be put into a position where I have to give her up. I can’t ask family because most don’t like big dogs and the ones who do already have enough.

Obviously nothing is set in stone and we don’t truly know what my dad’s intentions are. But if I’m being honest I have always thought him cutting us off was always inevitable. I mean would you keep supporting your previously family if they refused to speak with you for picking your mistress? Answer would probably be NO.

So yeah that’s my situation right now. Feeling some intense burn out and also pondering the possibility of having my whole life changed which includes potentially giving up the dog.

Any advice or some slight encouragement will be deeply appreciated.

You’re carrying a lot right now, and none of this would feel easy for anybody. A 9 month old shepherd mix hitting that teenage stage is already a handful, even in a calm, stable household. When life around you is stressful, unpredictable, or emotionally heavy, every bit of normal adolescent behavior feels ten times louder. What you’re seeing in her, the sudden intensity toward cats, the deeper bark, the new reactivity to neighbors, that’s all development. Shepherds hit this phase where their instincts come online, their confidence spikes, and their impulse control drops because their brain is outrunning their maturity. It doesn’t mean she’s going down a bad path or that you’ve done something wrong. It just means she’s at the age where all the genetic wiring wakes up at once.

Burnout makes that stage feel overwhelming. It’s not that you don’t love her, it’s that you’re dealing with a dog who requires structure while you’re also navigating real life stress with your injury, school, family dynamics, and the uncertainty around your home. No one trains well when they’re exhausted, scared, or stretched thin. You’re reacting like any human would under this kind of pressure. And your dog isn’t misreading that, she’s just responding to an unstable environment the way a sensitive breed does: more alert, more reactive, more intense.

Right now, you don’t need to be physically strong, and you don’t need to out-muscle her. You need management that keeps you safe while your leg heals: controlled equipment, predictable routines, and rest built into her day so she’s not constantly overstimulated. A dog her age isn’t naturally calm; calmness is something you teach in pieces, especially when their instincts ramp up. But even with her behavior, nothing you described sounds irreversible or alarming, it sounds like a young dog who needs clear boundaries and an owner who desperately needs a break, not a different home.

As for your family situation, that’s the part that’s really weighing on you. Anyone would be anxious wondering if their life is about to shift under their feet. But don’t jump ahead and assume you’re going to lose everything, you don’t know yet, and fear fills in the blanks with the worst case scenario. If things change, it doesn’t automatically mean giving up your dog. People keep shepherds successfully in apartments all the time with the right routine and expectations. Your life is not locked into one outcome.

Here’s the truth: you’re trying to hold everything together at an age where most people can barely hold themselves together. The fact that you’re still thinking about what’s best for your dog even while you’re hurting says you’re already doing better than you think. You haven’t failed her. You’re just tired, and overwhelmed, and scared of losing something you care about.

 

[e.xochipa]

You’re carrying a lot right now, and none of this would feel easy for anybody. A 9 month old shepherd mix hitting that teenage stage is already a handful, even in a calm, stable household. When life around you is stressful, unpredictable, or emotionally heavy, every bit of normal adolescent behavior feels ten times louder. What you’re seeing in her, the sudden intensity toward cats, the deeper bark, the new reactivity to neighbors, that’s all development. Shepherds hit this phase where their instincts come online, their confidence spikes, and their impulse control drops because their brain is outrunning their maturity. It doesn’t mean she’s going down a bad path or that you’ve done something wrong. It just means she’s at the age where all the genetic wiring wakes up at once.

Burnout makes that stage feel overwhelming. It’s not that you don’t love her, it’s that you’re dealing with a dog who requires structure while you’re also navigating real life stress with your injury, school, family dynamics, and the uncertainty around your home. No one trains well when they’re exhausted, scared, or stretched thin. You’re reacting like any human would under this kind of pressure. And your dog isn’t misreading that, she’s just responding to an unstable environment the way a sensitive breed does: more alert, more reactive, more intense.

Right now, you don’t need to be physically strong, and you don’t need to out-muscle her. You need management that keeps you safe while your leg heals: controlled equipment, predictable routines, and rest built into her day so she’s not constantly overstimulated. A dog her age isn’t naturally calm; calmness is something you teach in pieces, especially when their instincts ramp up. But even with her behavior, nothing you described sounds irreversible or alarming, it sounds like a young dog who needs clear boundaries and an owner who desperately needs a break, not a different home.

As for your family situation, that’s the part that’s really weighing on you. Anyone would be anxious wondering if their life is about to shift under their feet. But don’t jump ahead and assume you’re going to lose everything, you don’t know yet, and fear fills in the blanks with the worst case scenario. If things change, it doesn’t automatically mean giving up your dog. People keep shepherds successfully in apartments all the time with the right routine and expectations. Your life is not locked into one outcome.

Here’s the truth: you’re trying to hold everything together at an age where most people can barely hold themselves together. The fact that you’re still thinking about what’s best for your dog even while you’re hurting says you’re already doing better than you think. You haven’t failed her. You’re just tired, and overwhelmed, and scared of losing something you care about.

Thanks. I know that I’m processing a lot right now. Funny enough she actually gets tired pretty easily. Just running outside for a couple of minutes knocks her out for a couple of hours. Most of the time she likes to sleep or play with her toys. I’ve tried walks as mentioned in a previous post but by the looks of it she just seems to hate them. Either they overstimulate her too much or she just hates them because they always end up with her jumping, growling, and nipping /biting the person who is walking her.

As for the apartment situation my mom has stated before that she wouldn’t want to bring the dog along if it came down to it (and she pretty much has final say since she will be paying rent). Also considering changes that are gonna occur with her work and our commute no one will really have time for her. Maybe I will since I’m about to graduate and only work part time but depending on where we move will determine my commute time.

You are also right in that I desperately need a break. I pretty much have no social life outside college and work but most of the time I’m just focused on those two things. I can’t really stay and talk because I’m bombarded with messages (from my sister mostly) about when I’m gonna get home to take care of the dog. Even if I think about planning some time to myself like a movie then I’m sometimes meat with annoyance because that means someone’s gotta watch her. As a result I have to plan like 2 weeks in advance. My sister and mom on the other hand are constantly leaving the house at their pleasure.

While I’m somewhat of an introvert I still like to occasionally go out or decide to stay at campus or work to talk with friends and co workers but I obviously can’t don’t have that luxury anymore.

 

[Malakai The Great]

Thanks. I know that I’m processing a lot right now. Funny enough she actually gets tired pretty easily. Just running outside for a couple of minutes knocks her out for a couple of hours. Most of the time she likes to sleep or play with her toys. I’ve tried walks as mentioned in a previous post but by the looks of it she just seems to hate them. Either they overstimulate her too much or she just hates them because they always end up with her jumping, growling, and nipping /biting the person who is walking her.

As for the apartment situation my mom has stated before that she wouldn’t want to bring the dog along if it came down to it (and she pretty much has final say since she will be paying rent). Also considering changes that are gonna occur with her work and our commute no one will really have time for her. Maybe I will since I’m about to graduate and only work part time but depending on where we move will determine my commute time.

You are also right in that I desperately need a break. I pretty much have no social life outside college and work but most of the time I’m just focused on those two things. I can’t really stay and talk because I’m bombarded with messages (from my sister mostly) about when I’m gonna get home to take care of the dog. Even if I think about planning some time to myself like a movie then I’m sometimes meat with annoyance because that means someone’s gotta watch her. As a result I have to plan like 2 weeks in advance. My sister and mom on the other hand are constantly leaving the house at their pleasure.

While I’m somewhat of an introvert I still like to occasionally go out or decide to stay at campus or work to talk with friends and co workers but I obviously can’t don’t have that luxury anymore.

You’re carrying way too much on your own, and it shows, not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because no one can juggle school, work, an injury, family stress, and a high-drive adolescent dog without burning out. What you’re feeling is normal for the amount of pressure you’re under.

Your dog’s behavior on walks isn’t her being “bad”; she’s overstimulated and unsure, and the people walking her aren’t giving her the structure she needs. That kind of chaos is fixable, but it’s almost impossible to work on when you’re exhausted and you’re the only consistent handler.

The apartment situation and the possibility of losing her is understandably weighing on you, but try not to assume the worst before you have to. You don’t know yet where you’ll end up or what options you’ll have once things settle, and decisions made in panic are rarely the right ones.

And you’re not wrong for wanting time for yourself. Anyone would. It’s not selfish to want a couple hours where you’re not the default caretaker. You’ve been operating without support, and it’s catching up to you.

 

[e.xochipa]

You’re carrying way too much on your own, and it shows, not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because no one can juggle school, work, an injury, family stress, and a high-drive adolescent dog without burning out. What you’re feeling is normal for the amount of pressure you’re under.

Your dog’s behavior on walks isn’t her being “bad”; she’s overstimulated and unsure, and the people walking her aren’t giving her the structure she needs. That kind of chaos is fixable, but it’s almost impossible to work on when you’re exhausted and you’re the only consistent handler.

The apartment situation and the possibility of losing her is understandably weighing on you, but try not to assume the worst before you have to. You don’t know yet where you’ll end up or what options you’ll have once things settle, and decisions made in panic are rarely the right ones.

And you’re not wrong for wanting time for yourself. Anyone would. It’s not selfish to want a couple hours where you’re not the default caretaker. You’ve been operating without support, and it’s catching up to you.

Thanks for the reassurance. I know I’m juggling a lot and I’m trying to manage all this stress I’m going through. As for the apartment situation my mom has made it clear that she herself wouldn’t be comfortable having the dog in an apartment especially one her size. So if we do move I don’t really have a say since I can’t really afford my own place and I would be expected to help out somewhat financially. Right now most of my income from my part time job goes into my dog and her training and food, toys, and vet bills. 1/3 of my income goes into a saving account which I intend to use for a house. The little I have left for myself is usually for food and occasionally buying myself a movie online just as a little reward for myself.